It is an oil painting of trees and mountains. The meaning behind this piece is pain and overcoming the end of a relationship. I was 16 at the time, mourning the loss of a highschool relationship that lasted for over a year and a half. I didn't realize how toxic it was at the time. All the pain I felt was going through my veins and exiting into my hands then fingers onto the jagged strokes on the canvas.
The spiritual battle can be seen as the fight between good and evil. When you are young you spend many hours contemplating the differences and how to react to being faced with the bad. Malicious things manifest themselves in many ways, in my case it was depression, anxiety, and the possible toxicity of a teenage relationship. I was feeling the lowest of lows for the longest time, hating myself and feeling like I wasn't enough for my parents let alone my boyfriend or friends at the time. I sobbed to sleep wondering why my 16 year old self was not enough to be loved, why I felt crazy for knowing that I deserved more but refusing to believe it. The spiritual battle was tormenting my insides when the relationship of hell ended. I felt as if I had just woken up from a nightmare, like someone had pulled me out of a frozen lake. I was in shock as to how someone I held to such a high standard had been able to push me so deep into self loathing. How what I thought was a good guy just with the wrong person could gaslight me so much into believing I was wrong for despising the girl he would choose to date not even 2 weeks after our relationships demise. All this negativity all the pain and all the self discovery of self love and respect poured onto the canvas when it couldn't pour out of anything but my tears. My mouth couldn't have been able to paint as expressive of an image as my hands and brushes. That is why I believe this artwork relates to the spiritual battle, looking at this piece you can see the battle going on inside of me at the time. I asked myself and god silently, why me. He never really answered, unless you count me learning to love me.
I do commissions and sell art on my instagram page @scallionartofficial.
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