Techniques: Watercolor, Graphite.
The four planets are the representation of the four women who have been an impulse for me, accommodated in a therapeutic galaxy that represents a guide who has given order to my process and the warrior as my being in its rebirth, all thanks to the shield and the armor that God has placed on me.
Painting, for me, is a means of relief, of liberation of the mind. It is the ability that God has given me to manage my emotions.
In this case, I have decided to represent one of the most difficult moments of my life in this painting, not reflecting the bad that has happened to me but the mysterious way in which the Most High has been reflected to help me get out of that situation.
A few years ago, I was facing a personal situation that kept me in a loup. I knew that something was wrong, but I wanted to keep trying to remedy everything, until I finally fell into a depression in which I not only stopped taking care of myself, but also allowed them to do a lot of damage, feeling alone, overwhelmed, and mistreated, as if that should be the destiny of my life. It wasn't until one day, a woman whom I had barely seen a couple of times called me to invite me to her house. I fearfully decided to get out of my routine and go see her. Somehow, she knew that something was up. It wasn't going well. That was the first time I was able to speak without fear and freely about what was happening in my home. I clearly remember his words, motivating me to start over on my own. At that moment, I understood that what I was experiencing was not normal, but even so, I feared the next step. There was some hope in me that everything could improve. After that day, I did not see her again, but she left me with that doubt to move forward.
A few months later, a terrible situation occurred in my home, and for the first time, an outsider witnessed everything. An older woman with admirable life experience sat me down next to her and spoke to me so clearly that I did not stop crying for hours. I felt a lot of shame, the shame that someone else lived my day to-day. She spoke to me in the crudest way possible, in the way that I needed to finish opening my eyes and understand the consequences that a life like this could have. She offered me her shoulder, her home; she made me feel part of her family. A few months later, she had to leave town, and we lost contact, but I knew I was counting on her.
After this, it was me who decided to seek support from my mother, the woman I admire most in my life. She lives in my native country, Venezuela, where I moved away from her just as I walked away from all my friends. One day, I decided to call her and tell her what was happening. She told me about experiences of hers that I had no idea about. She opened her heart and made it clear to me that she had the strength to overcome everything! That day, I left what I thought was my home. I moved to a small space to start my life alone. I was very scared. I cried constantly. I was afraid I had made a mistake. One night, a friend from many years ago appeared, greeting me on social networks. We made a video call and gave each other a complete life update. She gave me her advice and made me feel so strong that I never doubted my decision again. Every day she writes to me, teaching me the value I have as a woman, and she insisted so much that I finally decided to go to therapy.
My psychologist has been the universe that encapsulates everything and clearly explains to me what happened to me. He has never told me what to do; he has never imposed routines on me or forbidden me things. He has only given me the tools to understand myself and love myself. Right now, I feel fulfilled. After having spent 5 years being a victim of psychological and verbal abuse in my marriage, I know that there is a lot ahead, and every day I wake up with more encouragement to learn new things, to recover time, and to achieve my desires.
Many times, our feminine instinct leads us to want to be caregivers no matter what happens to us in the process, but there are simply people that we cannot heal. There are times when we must come out of the shadows to be able to shine with our own light. When we feel we are on the verge of collapsing, God will be there to protect us, giving us small doses of strength to help us lift our heads and grow. It is up to us to take that and take advantage of it.
Visual Artist, Viviana Sánchez Méndez
All the people who have helped me build my path
Curious? Interested in submitting artwork to our contest? Know someone who might be? Through April 14th, 2022, the Engage Art Contest is open to the whole world! Get your foot in the door by claiming your Artist Page now!