Usually when I close my eyes and picture Jesus, I see myself as a child and Jesus is walking by my side, holding my hand and guiding me.
However, it was only about a year ago when I started to see Him this way. I used to think that He was looking down on me and not care about me. Even though I grew up being a "christian", I never really understood God's love. I didn't read the bible, life was hard and I had too many expectations for my future. When I saw that things weren't going my way I started to lose hope and became angry at God. For some time I lived with depression and because I was afraid of God I wasn't sure what to do with my life anymore.
One day He blessed me with a new home with loving christian housemates and a church with an amazing community. However, this really scared me and I was afraid to let go of my past because I thought I will lose everything again. It was like I had a blindfold on not seeing God changing my life for the better.
On Easter 2021 I slowly started to understand what God's love means. I felt something real in my heart that made me want to hope again. So I made a decision to hold on to that feeling and try to understand it more. I asked my friend to help me open up and to help me understand who Jesus is. Because of this decision my blindfold has fallen and there is a peace in my heart I have never felt before. This painting is based of a poem I wrote not too long after my hard journey of healing.
I feel hopeless
I see nothing
I keep stumbling
but i'm not falling?
when will this cycle end?
Something is holding me
Taking me somewhere
In desperation I reach out
A book in my hands
As I open it the blindfold falls
I can see a bible in my hand
and in the other hand is Jesus' hand
I feel fearless
I am faithful
I am loved
and I can see light"
This painting shows my personal perspective of how Jesus guided me during and after my spiritual battle. I never knew about the armour of God and I never knew His love for me. The bible versus on the painting are what helped me understand God better and every time I read them it's like I have that armour on and the evil can't affect me. There is a comfort in that armour. Like I'm being held by Jesus and being guided by Him. I can never forget what He has done for me and I believe that He is my Lord and Saviour. I will always accept His hand and His word and I know I will always be protected.
I draw and paint a lot of cartoon artwork that are fun and unique. You can contact me via email firstname.lastname@example.org or message me on instagram @nell_theartist.
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