The shading of the pencil behind the sun is the dark past that I left behind such as abusive, loneliness, homelessness. The sun represents the bright future that will over come the darkness. The blue colors of the water washes away my pass and the land scape around the river brings in the growth of what I can become.
I have been physically, mentally, and emotionally abused when I was young. For example when I was about 5 years old, I was learning how to count or learn money. Like what is a penny or quarter. Well I was setting at the dinner table and I had trouble learning this, my mother got frustrated about how slow I was learning this. She called out to my dad and he grabbed me by the arm and though my body up against my bedroom wall. My head hit the wall that it stung for over 5 minutes. My mother did not do a thing nor anyone else. That is when I started to have trouble learning words and ending up having dyslxeia (So I am sorry if some of my words are spelled wrong because of this) and never knew what love really is.
Love is a hard thing to come about when o came from. Darkness mostly took over my life. I have PTSD, anxiety and other issues which I am sorry I can not tell nor say because it really is too personal. Spiritual I am still learning. My fiance Derek is Chirstan and is into praying before he eats and talks to me about it all the time which I am still learning. I never trusted Chirstan people because the man I was going to marry many years ago before he passed had a aunt who was crazy about it, but in a bad way. She would say things like "Anyother religion people like that go to hell." She would pray for over 3 hours everyday like a Muslim woman (which there is nothing wrong being a Muslim, I am just using it as an example which is what she did) to the point when she siad "the Dilemma is a man that will go to hell because he is not Chirstan." She is nutz but that is what made me not want to even want to know about Chirstan. But Derek told me she over does it and that Christan faith is about loving all people and not like that. As for me I am still learning but all thanks to Derek. God to me is no man nor woman but a spirt of light. I guess but that is my thinking to it. Maybe I need to k ow more or maybe I need time but that is what I think. The evil is what people do bad and have the will of knowing what they do, os it the devil I dont know and never want to find out in someway.
This art work "Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" is about the past of what darkness is from the past which is shown in the sky behind the sun. The sun and the land is in color meaning a bright future lies ahead of me.
Anyone may contact me at my email address firstname.lastname@example.org or you can purchase it on my artpal. www.artpal.com/barbaraakram
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